Blogging, Journaling

Would You Love Me If I Was Dead?

Would my Dad finally show back up and apologize for putting my mom in the hospital? For locking me away and abandoning us all? For flipping my crippled grandmother’s apartment upside down then laughing about it? Would you see me then, Dad?

Would a quarter of the high school show up? Apologize for making those fake web pages about me where they mocked and criticized my ever move, every t-shirt, every word?

Would James Brock show up to say sorry for handling me like a rag doll in the late night? For making me the clown at every house party till I locked myself in the bathroom cause I couldn’t stand to cry in front of my elementary crush? Would you care then, James?

Would everyone finally show up to make up for all the times they’ve blown me off? Phones in hand ready to finally respond to my text messages saying, ‘Hello’? Would they all say, “Oh, only if I’d hung out with him, maybe, MAYBE, I could’ve stopped this.”

Huh??

Would y’all finally see me then?
Finally hear me?
Would you finally love me more if I was dead?

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3 thoughts on “Would You Love Me If I Was Dead?”

  1. Thank you for responding!!! Keep my # — I’m a night owl and I’m here for you!!! Get brave and call me some time for a quick hello, voice to voice :)) (if the machine answers, please talk . . . sometimes I just can’t find the phone. And if I’m out, I’ll return your call :))

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks so much for the concern Dawn. It really means a lot–but I’m fine. That was just me trying to vent, hoping to get some sleep. I’ll hold onto your number though. Thanks again ❤️

    Like

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