How Do I Get To Heaven?

“Without losing a piece of me, how do I get to Heaven?”
-Troye Sivan, Heaven

Everyone knows humans are flawed. That’s no secret. We’re constantly doing things we know we shouldn’t. For some out there it’s almost like they’re born with a shotgun in their hands. But what if it’s these supposed “wrong” things we do that make us who we are? And what if these “wrong” things are considered, by you, to be right? Do you give up that piece of you, or do you hold onto what you love?

The song Heaven by Troye Sivan is a very special song to me. It’s about those in the LGBT community struggling to accept who they are due to a fear brought on by their religion–they’re afraid they won’t be allowed into Heaven. This song strikes a cord in me for a different reason, though, because I’m not gay. I do, however, hold a soft spot for those that go against what they’re taught to be who they truly are. There’s something so vindicating and bold in such actions–no?

“Without changing a part of me, how do I get to Heaven? All my time is wasted, feeling like my heart’s mistaken.”

I’m not a religious person whatsoever, but I’m also not completely close-minded. The song has made me question who I am, what I’ve done, and where such behavior will ultimately lead me. It, amongst a lot of other things in life, has made me want to change for the better. And I do, but I’ll always end up boomeranging back to my old ways. Honestly, it seems in the midst of my old ways is where I seem happiest. It’s a very conflicting battle. Very light-dark, heaven-hell.

I do a lot of things I shouldn’t. Let me rephrase that: I do a lot of things I enjoy, but what society tells me I shouldn’t do; what’s wrong. Sorry, but if I’m only living once, then I’m doing what makes me happy, regardless.

“So if I’m losing a piece of me, maybe I don’t want Heaven.”

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