When people say “There’s someone for everyone,” is it something they truly believe, or something they want to believe? I myself would love to believe it–sadly, I don’t.
I’ve watched all the relationships in my life crumble, all the bridges burn, and all at my hands. It’s something I realize I’m doing. Something I simultaneously don’t want but can’t help. Anyway, I realize if I continue on this path, I’ll stay like this…It’s not that I want to, though. To be brief, I guess I’m just picky. And at the risk of pissing off 99.9% of the population, I’m not even sure I believe in marriage. So, what would be the point in a romantic relationship, right?
But in case I do meet that “Special Someone,” here are some things I’d like for her to know. Yes, “her,” despite some things I write about. Sorry boys.
“It’s only been a moment. It’s only been a lifetime. But tonight you’re a stranger; some silhouette.”
To the Future Wifey
/ Gf/ Romantic Interest. There we go.
- I’m so closed off and self-preserved, no one makes it in. Am I talking to you? Have I opened up? Can you see me? Doesn’t happen often. If you see me, know that I’ve let you. I want you to.
- I’m picky. As cold as it sounds, I prefer not to waste my time with anyone I see no future with. Remember that when I ask to hangout, when I call just to say Hey. Remember that when I hand you a ring worth at least 3 months salary 😉
- I’m not your typical guy. I’m very all-or-nothing, which can be good or bad. If I’ve stayed, then know which side I’m leaning toward.
- Know that I am the farthest thing from perfect. Broken is more my style. There are too many empty spots I’m not sure I can fill…there are locks I’ve lost keys to and there are breaks I can’t fix. There are places I’m afraid to go, but that doesn’t mean I won’t.
- Know that I may have masked myself with a hard exterior, but it’s not all the way through. (And it doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk.) If you stick around and keep chiseling, you’ll see. You’ll see that inside I’m like a gummy bear. Or maybe a sour patch kid–sour then sweet. 🙂
- Also, know that I’m not good with all this ooey gooey lovey stuff. Makes me feel weird, even if that ooey gooey stuff is what I wanna say. So there are a lot of things I’m not saying here that I’d like to. But this is getting weird.
Maybe you’re out there, maybe not. For now, you’ll stay in my head as some stranger, some silhouette.
Thanks for reading 🙂