My best friend, my Notepad

“Look at where we at now. We aint made it yet, but they can hear us in the background coming. Some are gon’ hate it; some are gon’ love. Imma put it in his hands and let God do the judging.”

-NF, Notepad

For a lot of us out there, it can be a difficult and scary thing, opening up to another person. Even with people we’ve known for years–friends, family, spouses, kids.

As beautiful as this world is, it sure is filled with a lot of ugly people.

And let’s face it: though you may pretend otherwise, you know you don’t really trust those you claim to…I know I don’t.

People can be cruel. So, so, very cruel–two-faced and too fake. It’s hard finding someone to confide in when you need them the most. Especially when it seems like all anyone wants to do is leave.

Not that I care, but when I was 8, that guy most call “Dad” left. A lot of family passed, friends flaked, and the fam just seems to keep moving further and further away. Regardless, it’s easy to feel alone for some, even if they’re not.

In my life, it seems the only thing that’s stayed constant–the only that that’s always been there–has been this Notepad. So much so that I look at it like a person–a brother or sister. Maybe even a mother or father. I tell it everything. Everything. And it listens. All the dark, twisted, evil, depressing and anxiety-filled thoughts in my skull I tell to this pad of paper.

It’s like I put a gun to my head, pull the trigger, and let everything from inside spew freely onto that page.

There’s no one else.

“He’s all I’ve got. Nothing else could love me. Not even…especially not me.”


Thanks for reading. Happy Friday-Eve 😉

Thanks to everyone who’s gotten a copy of The Author so far. Love ya.

-Jordan Antonacci

3 thoughts on “My best friend, my Notepad”

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