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Pain.

How you handle pain has a lot to do with how it affects you.

Mental Pain: Psychological pain or mental pain is an unpleasant feeling (a suffering) of a psychological, non-physical, origin. A pioneer in the field of suicidology, Edwin S. Shneidman, described it as “how much you hurt as a human being. It is mental suffering; mental torment.”

“But pain’s like water. It finds a way to push through any seal. There’s no way to stop it. Sometimes you have to let yourself sink inside of it before you can learn how to swim to the surface.”

― Katie Kacvinsky

As human beings, we are creatures of emotion. Really, if you think about it, it’s our emotions and how we feel about certain things that ultimately governs how we go about navigating through our day.

Now, we all feel. Even the most ruthless, cold-blooded psychopath imaginable can experience emotions to a very minimal degree (or so I read). We’ve got happiness, sadness, anger, excitement… but of all the emotions, of all the feelings, I doubt there’s a human on this earth that’s more familiar with any of them, than pain.

As Dr. Cuddy from the TV show, House, said, “Pain happens when you care.” Personally, I found it much easier going through life alone and feeling empty. Kind of…. Now that my relationship with Destinee is growing and I’m becoming more passionate about my writing, I feel more full, but I also feel like more is hanging in the balance. The more we have, the happier we are, but the more we have to lose. And that’s terrifying, because everything ends, eventually. Nothing lasts forever. I talked about this a little bit in my previous post, Love Hard.

pain

Regardless, if you’re in this little thing called “Life,” then you will feel pain. You know that. You’ve felt and endured it up till now, and you’ll continue doing the exact same for the rest of your life. There’s just no way around it. That thought really adds some perspective to the emo groups who carve crap like Life is pain into their arms with razors. Don’t do that.

And while the avoidance of pain is but a never-ending cycle that will eventually catch you, it’s impact is entirely up to you. When life cuts you deep, you need not bleed out. Acknowledge the pain, patch yourself up, then get back up and keep going.

Rafts.

Face the pain head on.
When pain comes, it’s natural to want to get the fuck out of dodge. It’s like a reflex. You see a stick flying at your head, you duck. Most of the time. But why not just get it over with? If you try swallowing it down, then it’ll only come back up later–sometimes making a bigger mess than initially expected. Embrace the feelings. Cry, hit, scream, do whatever you need to do. Just don’t carry it around with you.

“Emotional pain cannot kill you, but running from it can. Allow. Embrace. Let yourself feel. Let yourself heal.”

–Vironika Tugaleva

Turn the pain into fuel.
This is my favorite. Anytime I hurt, it’s typically hard for me to express, which instinctively drives me to some other form of personal expression–art, typically. That’s where I vent and turn my pain into something useful. That’s where I try taking all the doubt and judgement and proving everyone and myself wrong. That’s where I aim to make something of my life.

“This too shall pass.”
Like I mentioned earlier: Nothing lasts forever. When a storm comes, sometimes all you can do is just wait it out. While it can be difficult in the moment, whenever you’re feeling pain, try remembering that it’ll pass. If you’re at rock bottom, then you can only go up from there. Things will get better; you just have to believe it.

Remember who you are.
If you’re feeling pain because of criticism, rejection, etc., you may start feeling insecure. Just remember who you are. Think about all your positive qualities–things you like about yourself. If you have negative ones, think of some ways you’d like to improve, and accept what you can’t change. Think about your hobbies and what it is you enjoy doing that makes you happy. Fucking love yourself, dammit!

Venting and relationships.
It’s nice having people you can trust and fall back on. I’ve never had many friends. They say the wiser you are, the more selective you are with friends. I like to think so. Even still, my mom has always been there to help me and listen. If you feel alone, know there’s always somebody out there willing to help. If you have people, don’t be afraid to vent and open up. If you feel alone, then reach out. There’s more people out there that feel like you then you’d think; I promise.
Although, sometimes it’s hard to vent, and I get that.

“If you hate what’s in your head, the fuck would you speak your mind?”

–Eden, Crash

Remember: How you handle pain has a lot to do with how it affects your mind.

Thanks for reading!

-Jordan


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3 thoughts on “Pain.”

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