For the first time in what’s felt like ages, the smoke-like grey clouds have begun to part, and rays of light have started to beam through. And in that mix of rain and light, I see a rainbow. The clouds aren’t completely gone, and the rain is still coming down, but the light is signaling hope–hope that everything will soon be clear, and the skies blue again.

We all have rough patches in life; some of which we’re unsure we’ll make it through. These last few months have been a bittersweet, blissful type of hell. This last week has been straight-up hell. It’s like everything and everyone in the world all ganged up and went against me at once. Everything was falling apart around me, and those I needed just ran.

I was truly at rock bottom… Actually, fuck rock bottom. I was sunken down to the bottom of the ocean, buried beneath all the fish carcasses, bones and shit. Honestly, it seemed like that was it for me. Then my family came along. They breathed enough air into me for me to find the strength to pull myself from beneath it all. And right now, I’m on my way to the surface, hoping to soon breathe again on my own.

If I Rise

This winter has been dark
And I don’t mean to point blame
but the darkest part
was that sunny day–
the day you ripped out my heart

I’ve never felt such pain
And what made it worse
was the way you walked away
So easy, without a word
Not one thing to say
Not a thing to say

I fell for you
Smacked the ground hard
A heart in two
and all of me apart

You promised me forever
but forever ended quick
Now you’re saying “never.”
and our story’s at an end

Is this where we say “Goodbye”?
Doesn’t it matter how hard I tried?
No. I guess your feelings have died
Drowned in the pathetic and salty rivers I’ve cried

And though it still seems dark
and the rain still pours
the clouds have begun to part
revealing all the colors

I just wish I couldn’t feel
because even when the storm’s through
I’ll look at where I’ve healed
and always have a scar to remind me of you

Thanks for reading!

-Jordan Antonacci
Twitter: @misterhushhush
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jordanantonacci/