Blogging, poetry

2:30 AM

rainbow2

2:30 in the morning
I was awoken by a knocking
You’d come back like a haunting
A dressed up nightmare walking

You said that you wanted
to try again
Really you wanted
to lie again
Maybe you wanted
to watch me die again
I’m haunted as I say
goodbye to my best friend

For the past month
it’s been on and off
coz you never seem to know
what you want
Do you want me?
Do you want him?
How could I let myself be
in this situation again?
I gave you all
You gave me none
You’d only call
when I’d say “We’re done.”
Now this relationship
it isn’t much fun
But I’d still give everything
to go back to the way it was
Just me and you
Our favorite song, ‘Blue’
Entangled in the bed
Early morning conversations
You’d make breakfast
As I’d write
It was supposed to be like that
Baby, for life

What was it
I did wrong?
Offer a love
that was too strong?
Offer to take you in
and play your games again?
How do we fix it
by doing the same things again?

“I can’t say No. Though the lights are on, there’s nobody home.
Swore I’d never lose control.
Then I fell in love with a heart that beats so slow.”

-Troye Sivan, Blue

Mended heart with a
tale to tell
Honestly, I’m just
pissed at myself
coz yet again I
slipped and fell
Fell for the same shit,
but oh well

Now alone I stand
without any help
Truthfully I am
doing well
I’ve been here before
This exact cell
This exact pain
This same brand of hell

Again we say
our farewells
I’m moving to a new place
You don’t know where
Life, it will keep
moving ahead
“We” will always be
a memory in my head
But don’t come back to me
I’m done with the games
I just want to be happy
Please for fuck sake

Still I wish
you would’ve tried
coz now I say goodbye
Goodbye Babygirl, for the last time

“All your lights are red, but I’m green to go.”

 

Anyone going through a break-up, know that’s it’s never wrong to try again. Though it’s not wrong to try again, it’s also not wrong to walk away. You can only try so many times. You can only keep going in circles for so long. If you’re giving it your all and it’s still not working, then maybe it’s just not meant to be. Accept that notion when it presents itself. You can’t force something that doesn’t belong. “If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”

Thanks for reading, everyone.

-Jordan Antonacci
Twitter: @misterhushhush

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