As a few of you know, for the past 10 days I’ve been on a trip in California. It’s definitely been one of the most adventurous trips I’ve been on—driving from Laguna to San Francisco to Eureka, then hiking all over northern Cali and staying in a camper… it has been a very loving, happy, happy trip. Happiest I’ve been in a very long time. For a few brief days I even got to live out my little dream of being a a travel blogger.
Unfortunately, everything has to end. That goes for ice cream, vacation, life…
Along with the downer of having to leave my family, and return back “home” to reality, yesterday morning we got news that my grandfather had passed the day before (on my mother’s birthday).
There’s no love like a grandparent’s. I’ve been thinking about that a lot today. And about how we never know what we have till it’s gone. I thought I knew, but with both grandparents gone, I understand on a new level the love of grandparents. But my heart hurts most for my mother. She’s lost both parents and has had to come here far too many times.
I don’t know why I’m writing this. I hate when people get so personal online, but I need to vent and I’m not sure where else to go…
I’d been bracing for this news for a minute. But even still, as the weight of the news fell on me, I began to crumble, and found my strength retreating. Sometimes, it sucks having to be strong, but when the whole family is looking at you with watery eyes, what else can you do? You feel like if you let yourself fall, it’s only going to cause a domino effect and everyone else will fall. So, you brave the silence, awkwardly pet the cat sitting in the window, ask about the plans for the day, then walk away.
What makes it all worse is that an investigation is being conducted around his death.
I don’t know what to do. How to act.
All I know is that life goes on, regardless. I’m sitting in an airport about to force myself back onto a plane. I suppose all I can do is unpack, go back to work, and return to normal. I’ll be taking a few days (if not more) away from the blog to let myself get situated and what not. Have some time to myself.
While I was living a dream, I’ve just woken up. Reality is cold, but no matter how cold you get, the winds keep blowing, and the world keeps spinning. It just. Keeps. Spinning.
So I guess this is me signing off?
Till next time.