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Chasing Dreams like I’m on Novocaine

Once upon a time, there was a boy who dreamt he’d one day have the world. He imagined he’d grow larger than life and have the world at his feet. He’d venture new and old lands, reach out and touch billions of people, see his name in lights, and maybe even wield the power to change lives. He knew it could all be his–infinity at his fingertips and all he had to do was reach. But what he didn’t know was that he was asleep, walking through life. Through every second of everyday, he’d dream, never able to see or hear anything else. Or anyone.

Though intents were not of malice, he plowed a path through crowds of innocence, and in his wake, left mutilated bodies of those who’d tried to love him. But despite the blood, despite the screams, the boy still continued down the path with a smile and head high. Eyes closed as bright dreams roared in his head.

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I’ve always lived life like something of a gypsy. So much of my time has been lived out of suitcases and on the go. But what else am I to do? Especially when these dreams are always running. I know not any other way to chase them. I have tunnel vision and those enlightening dreams at the end are all I can see. The glistening cloud of hope has been the only thing keeping me feeling alive.

But in the midst of going after what I want, I seem to have forgotten that my actions can effect others. During this chase, I’ve willingly burned bridges and knowingly closed locked doors I didn’t have the keys to. So many relationships I’ve carelessly tossed into the wind without hesitation.

So many.

It’s not that I didn’t care, it’s not that they didn’t matter–it’s just that I’ve been asleep for so long. Dreaming. When I wake up, I hear their cries, and I see the reality of my destruction… So maybe that’s why I’m eager to stay asleep, in a place where nothing is quite as it is.

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He didn’t know she cared so much. Should he have been awake, maybe then he would’ve heard the beating of her heart. Lub dub, lub dub… Maybe then he could’ve heard her pleas as he crossed a bridge before dousing it with gasoline. But he was fast asleep, lost in skies of purple and fields of cloud. As a tear strolled down her cheek in the glowing orange flames, he walked away. A smile on his face and eyes closed.


Hey peoples! Thanks for stopping by the blog and checking out today’s post. If you missed it, check out last night’s post over my move to CaliforniaI’m Coming Home.

If you liked today’s post, please do leave a like and don’t forget to follow along! I’ll chat with you beautiful people soon ❤

Sincerely,

Jordan Antonacci
Instagram: jordanantonacci
SnapChat: jtantonacci


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