My problems with relationships was how this blog came to be. It’s beauty was birth from a moment of pure travesty and despair. A moment when I was at my loneliest and at my lowest. It was a marker in my life I promised to never let myself fall back to. And I've really tried… Continue reading Trust Issues
Those words hold such a familiar sound as they echo through my life. I didn't realize my tongue had become so familiar with such a heartbreaking sentence. But as they yet again fell from my lips like 100 pound weights, I realized I may have a problem. I have a friend. He's been a friend… Continue reading “She’s getting too close.”
https://youtu.be/8T0Hbkriv-Q They don't notice me I live life so lowkey Alone but not so lonely Still, wont anyone ever come and hold me? Nobody wants to pay attention till I'm sittin wrist slit A victim of something hidden They wont care till I'm dead then the whole town is my best friend talking on what… Continue reading Poem: Is Goodbye to Me that Easy
When he learned that I live on my own, 1,600 miles away from family, his first question was, "Don't you get lonely?"
I didn’t mean what I said. I’m an overly sensitive piece of shit that says mean things when I get upset. But I promise, hurting you was never my intention. I understand if you don’t wanna listen. It hurt like hell to watch you cry. The memory is still etched into my mind and it… Continue reading By the way…
When I look into the mirror, my reflection-- it's no longer me. My thoughts no longer sound like mine. There's something ugly that's happening inside. More malignant than a cancer. More malicious than a monster. And with the hunger of a thousand starving lions. A feeling like when a star explodes and turns into a… Continue reading I’ll Be A Killer Whale When I Grow Up
As a writer, it's what I need. I need the quiet, and I need the calm, so I can hear and understand the chaos in my own head.
Make your own kind of music. Sing your own special song. Make your own kind of music, even if nobody else sings along.
Every night, It's like I put a gun to my head, pull the trigger, and let everything from inside spew freely onto that page.
"No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes. No one knows what it's like to be hated, to be faded, to telling only lies." I feel like no one knows me--the real me. The me I keep hidden, buried, afraid to let free. Afraid… Continue reading Things I Could Never Say