Disclaimer: Let me start this post off by saying that this is NOT me trying to bash my family. I am not pointing fingers, nor am I blaming anyone for the way I feel. If there’s anyone to blame, it’s myself. My insecurities, my mind, my problem. With that said, let’s begin. Whenever I write… Continue reading When you feel like you don’t fit in with your Family
I could’ve sworn that I’d killed her. I remember placing her limp body, all our keepsakes and memories into a wooden box and burying it all six-feet deep on a deserted planet in a galaxy far, far away. I then remember coming home to sew shut the gaping vortex in my heart, dust myself off… Continue reading The Habits of my Heart
When I look into the mirror, my reflection-- it's no longer me. My thoughts no longer sound like mine. There's something ugly that's happening inside. More malignant than a cancer. More malicious than a monster. And with the hunger of a thousand starving lions. A feeling like when a star explodes and turns into a… Continue reading I’ll Be A Killer Whale When I Grow Up
I'm holding onto pieces of us that I just can't let go. I know this is a desperate kind of love, but it feels like it's home.
How you handle pain has a lot to do with how it affects you. Mental Pain: Psychological pain or mental pain is an unpleasant feeling (a suffering) of a psychological, non-physical, origin. A pioneer in the field of suicidology, Edwin S. Shneidman, described it as "how much you hurt as a human being. It is… Continue reading Pain.
To love hard is to love fiercely. To love hard is to throw out the rule books that give timelines, precursors, and standards. To love hard is to jump in with both feet. Loving hard is knowing that true, unconditional love is rare, and may only be touched once in a lifetime...if that. To love… Continue reading Love Hard
"I've done tried it all, tried it all... I can't stop this internal bleed. Now my heart is leaking, heart is leaking out. And it hurts me." --Kid Cudi, Internal Bleeding Ladies, gentlemen: I have a problem. And that problem is me. Do you ever look around, find that everything is okay, but also find… Continue reading This Internal Bleed.
I'd be lying if I said I never think of you. Every so often, you'll pop up in my dreams, and the feeling seems so real... Then I wake up. And I'd be lying if I said I don't miss you.